So, I fell asleep with the TV on. As I return from dreamland to consciousness, I vaguely hear something in the distance about a video of a Tic Tac-shaped object coming out of the ocean or something.

Convinced I’m still dreaming, I toss and turn until the alarm goes off. I open my eyes. I grab my phone. Another Tic Tac video plays in the background.

Eggistential? Or just an egg? Chapter 1.1

Years ago, before I became (insert whatever you know me as now), I was in the T-shirt screen printing business. I used to write a column for one of the trade magazines.